Let me preface all of this to mention that I've always dreamed of having children of my own - two of them. A boy and a girl (Reid Palmer and Evelyn Jane). They would be dressed in their gap baby wear and be the envy of all the other children on the playground. Finding the love of my life to share the responsibilities of children, the thought has only intensified as of late.
So my family decided to attend Taste of Chicago (a cluster-fuck that I will avoid at all costs). Gary and I jumped at the chance to babysit our little Lilly! After a few last-minute instructions, Lilly's uncles were set to take care of their adorable niece!
As soon as the door was closed, the puckered-up lips and squinted eyes began to form. Then, a horrible sound came from my darling Lilly. The tears and cries started and failed to stop. A change of the diaper - still crying. Pats on the back while walking around - still crying. Resting on her uncle's chest - still crying. Laying alone on the couch - still crying. A small amount of water - still crying. NOTHING seemed to make her stop! I quickly passed her on to Gary where he walked around with her for over 15 minutes before she enjoyed the slight bouncing and fell asleep. It was at this point (over an hour later) that Lilly's mom decided to come back. Of course, my angelic niece was sleeping soundly only minutes before Gretchen returned.
Upon my cigarette break during the middle of all of this, I started to think: "Do I really want children of my own?" Aren't the 20 young kids I have 9 months out of the year, combined with my darling niece enough? And, without children, I can travel and enjoy the freedom that I enjoy so much!
Which quickly brings me to my next point. It was an ordeal to decide where to go and how to get there. A baby cannot ride in a cab without a car seat. A stroller on the bus or train is every passenger's nightmare. And driving and parking in the city is nothing but a headache. To go to dinner, we had to drive in two shifts and attempt to find nearby parking (luckily it wasn't too difficult). These are some of the things that I never considered!
Let me restate that I LOVE my niece so much and she is the most precious thing I have ever encountered. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing her adorable smile and cute, miniature movements! And I hesitate to use the word but....BUT, the fantasy and seemingly wonderful thing that is children is nothing more than that - an idea of seeing that little, cute face and thinking that you yearn for one of your own!
In my life, I am able to pick up and travel to any place that I choose at a moment's notice. I don't have to worry about packing enough formula or diapers for a week, or lugging the 5 bags (for the child, not for me). So at the present moment, I choose 'not to child'.
But I must say that I have a new, growing respect for parents. Their job is in no way easy! I'm proud of you, Gretchen!
Now, enjoy a couple more pictures of my adorable, precious niece Lilly!
Lilly and Uncle Adam (Lillers doesn't look too comfy, does she?!)
Lilly and Uncle Gary
She's just too damn cute for words!
2 comments:
You are a great uncle. Lilly, or any child for that matter, is lucky to have you as an uncle or mentor in their life. Love you baby!
i hear ya uncle adam! i love, love, love millie and wouldn't trade being her aunt for anything. that said, spending the last week with her has made me realize how much work parenthood is. amity and paul do an amazing job. i'm perfectly content being the fun, fabulous aunt who gets to spoil and corrupt her! hee hee.
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