i couldn't wait to lay on the table and get my relaxing, stress-relieving massage. day 1 of the cruise i signed up for my 50 minute deep tissue massage. the knots in my back, acquired from the weeks leading up to my vacation throbbed at the anticipation of having asian hands work them out. the beautiful canadian sitting behind the desk also led up to anticipation of visiting the mandara spa again! steve, short as he may have been, popped up around the ship in his black pants and solid button down with large silver A/X belt buckle accessory, each time giving me a small twinge down there.
ahem. back to the massage. i meet joan (pronounced joann), my therapist who would provide my service. i should have known it wouldn't be as relaxing as i thought when she asked if i was ready for my torture. once in my boxers laying face down on the table, i realized that this is the type of massage that professional athletes get to relieve muscle tension. it was too late. joan started my massage. at one point she told me that i took the first place aware on this cruise for tightest knots. gee, thanks. pain. it hurt greatly as she tried her hardest to work out these knots. realizing that i was tensing my back, i knew that these knots weren't going away completely. before i was told to turn over, she applies a lotion to my back. it was cool, soothing. after i flipped over, it began to get warm. did she just put icy hot all over my back?!
after finishing, it was her turn. her turn to sell me a product that i NEEDED. it was the lotion/oil combination that would release the lactic acid lingering in my back. the knots were going nowhere, she told me, unless i used this product to get rid of the lactic acids. at a mere $65, they would disappear. no thank you, i told her.
but, in addition to my massage, i told her that i have experienced weight gain. due to the chicago winter, holidays, etc. i had put on my hibernation weight. she told me that perhaps it was my metabolism that needed to be examined. she provided me with a complimentary BMI with the dietitian on board. again, no thanks. those are numbers and results i do not need to know. i realize that there is too much fat on my body and i need to do something to get rid of it. however, i do not need numbers mocking me to tell me that.
my plan: buy some icy hot. start working out. stop eating crap.
2 comments:
Didn't you feel good though having a massage that lasted more than five minutes, like the ones we give each other?
one time (at band camp) in high school, I was putting icy hot on my shoulders/neck after a swim meet and had an interesting thought. I thought, hmmm, I wonder what this would feel like on my lips? FYI: do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ever put icy hot on your lips. thank you.
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