toe tapping in airport bathrooms

sure, we all know what happens in some airport bathrooms, ahem, sen. craig, but lately, i've noticed some very odd behaviors in these all-too-public restrooms.

to the person who left their KY jelly: why on god's green earth did you have and/or need KY jelly in the bathroom stall with you? i hope you weren't using it for any of its common uses. i mean, it's a PUBLIC restroom. and, if you were using it in there, why didn't you take it with you when you left rather than leaving it on the toilet paper dispenser for all future visitors to the handicap accessible stall to wonder why it was sitting there.

to the man who stood 4 feet back from the urinal: is it really necessary? is your thing really that big that you had to stand so far back to make sure your aim was just right? and, if you're standing there, beyond the dividers, the human (gay) eye may just wonder down. and, you can't blame them because YOU were the one standing there, out for all to see.

to the obviously tired man who had to use his arm to rest up against the wall: did you really need the extra support of your hand against the wall to prop you up while you did your business? you do know that it's a public restroom and god only knows what germs are lurking on that wall, right? or perhaps you were SO tired from your long flight that you need a quick rest while you relieved yourself. for some reason though, i don't think it was necessary.

to the "decorating" staff at the baltimore-washington airport: why is a small vase of one fake flower a necessary part of the decorating theme of the men's restroom? and furthermore, you find it important to place a printed card next to it stating that it is for decorative purposes and should not be taken from the men's room. yet i wonder, would someone think of taking it out of there to give to someone? perhaps meeting that loved one who's picking you up from your long flight? it strikes me as odd, the whole thing.

these aren't examples that i've collected over the months of my frequent visits to airport restrooms. i can assure you that these are all recent discoveries within the past week.

i can't make this shit up.